Sex hookup phone lines

Any woman who's used any kind of dating app has been confronted with this most bemusing question, posed by what we can only imagine are men who have had wood for so dangerously long they've begun to experience brain death. The idea of a quick-and-dirty “Who wants to help me achieve orgasm?I'm talking about messaging exchanges that go something like this: We know you're eager, but nobody can get away with a “How 'bout a blowjob? " request may seem like a good idea when you're alone at 2 a.m.with a chub and a smartphone—but in a sober state of mind, do you really think this approach will work? But also don't give up on enjoying casual, consensual, enjoyable sex with the help of your smartphone.The good news: There are so many dudes out there doing it So Very Wrong that a woman is likely to appreciate a man who does this right.I'm going to try to get you laid, but I'm also going to save you from being exploited in screen-shot by some tiresome social media personality.

Sure, the lady may be all turnt up from a night of krumping or whatever (again: I don't go to clubs!

), but you would still exchange some pleasantries first, right? It's just polite—and a nice way to find out if somebody has crazy eyes or adult braces. Just talk to her for a little bit to establish 1) her interest and 2) the fact that you're fun and safe. there's a woman who's on Tinder solely to provide strangers with free amateur porn.

Ask what she's doing, how her night was, what she did, what she might be doing later. It's also possible for a snake to crawl up your toilet and bite your balls.

We're talking snake-ball-biting odds of you getting laid when you ask these questions so fast.

It's transparent and lazy, and makes us assume you're not someone who is concerned about stuff like consent or whether the other person actually enjoys sex.

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