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One of my long-term staff has a common, easy-to-pronounce Indian name, but since well before I was hired, she was given a nickname: a westernised version of her name.
We were chatting about my (slightly unusual) name one day, and she expressed that she hates the nickname, wishes people would just use her real name, and that she’s never felt confident asking people to do so.
I offered, as her manager, to handle this for her, and she agreed, stating that she’d be grateful.
This reminds me of last week’s letter from the manager whose employee was harassing a coworker about her prosthetic limb.
That manager needed to use her authority to put a stop to something offensive, and so do you.
You don’t need to talk anyone into behaving respectfully; you need to tell them that it’s not optional.
Your staff members’ behavior here is, frankly, disgusting.
They want to westernize someone’s name because her actual name isn’t “pretty” or “feminine” enough for them? That’s not an option, they’re being offensive and racist, and you need to require them to behave respectfully and not like the giant assholes they’re currently being.